Cruel
by PetalFleur
Summary: Cato and Clove had been best friends since they could remember. She was logical for the most part, but when it came to Cato her logic was scarce. He was a typical playboy with something to hide, and she was blind to the fact that she was hiding the same thing. When things come to the surface it might seem like everything is simpler, but instead things become much more complicated.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello everybody. You may or may not be a reader of Down the Rabbit Hole, my other story. This is something separate, and if you'd like a full explanation you can go read the latest update of DTRH. I hope you enjoy the first chapter of my new fic, and any reviews would be greatly appreciated. Have a lovely day, and I hope you enjoy reading!**

Crisp air, changing leaves, and puffs of visible breath were the things that characterized autumn in District 2. The Training Academy shut it's doors for two weeks after the Reaping, allowing the Careers to have some well-deserved leisure time before beginning another season of training. Cato Hadley woke up at an uncharacteristically late time, stretching out in bed with a loud yawn. For the first time in months he'd been able to sleep in past 6, but he still didn't feel as rested as he should. It took him a moment to remember why the shower would be running, considering the fact that his roommate was gone for their break. The previous night's events replayed in his mind as the shower shut off and a towel-clad brunette sauntered into his room. A small smirk played on her lips as she made her way over to his bed, clearly pleased with the night before.

"See you around," she said, dropping the towel to pick up her underwear from the foot of his bed.

He folded his hands behind his head, watching her. "Take care, babe. I had a great time last night." This was routine for him, but the routine was getting old. There was sex, yes, but there was no affection and nothing near care. Care and affection were things that he craved, but the girl he cared for could only be held at arm's length.

He'd been down lately, and his inkling of the cause was slowly growing into a full-on, messy problem. Loneliness was not something he was familiar with. His social life was simple and consistent, and he didn't have much to complain about. He was a textbook ladies man, tall and blonde with an impressive build and a face you couldn't say 'no' to. He was known for his natural magnetism, some sort of polarity that drew girls in, kept both sides of his bed filled, and didn't fail to clear his mind of things that did more than scratch the surface of his thoughts. He was particular in choosing the girls that he accepted the attention from. Always someone petite, always someone with dark hair, but never the girl that they all seemed to resemble. This, of course, is where things get messy. Sometimes in the heat of the moment he could pretend it was her. He could imagine that the soft lips on his pulse point were hers, that the quiet sighs into his ear were hers, that the body rocking beneath his was hers, but that was never the case. For years he thought that he was lucky to be Clove's best friend. Clove, the girl who'd given him a bloody nose on the first day of training because he made front of her freckles. Clove, the girl who'd given him her first kiss on her fourteenth birthday and then locked herself in the bathroom for an hour because she was scared that he didn't like it. Clove, who'd still never told him what happened to make her fear any sort of closeness to a person that wasn't him. Clove, the only person he could confide in. The issue here was that the incredible girl who was the source of nearly all of his smiles was also his biggest problem.

Leaves crunched beneath Clove Sevina's feet at regular intervals as she jogged through the district, her jacket sleeves pulled down over her hands to keep them warm. She came to a stop outside of the building where the boys' dorms were located, chewing her lip as she debated whether or not she should go visit Cato. He'd been distant lately, and the fact that it was the first day of a long break and she didn't have any plans with her best friend was a bit unsettling. She understood that it was hard to keep up relationships. She tried her hardest not to overanalyze situations, yet the fact that Cato seemed to be missing from her life was making her mind spin. She didn't blame him for not returning her calls, or for completely ignoring her at training. People needed to focus, and she understood that. She was tired of understanding, though, and she truly did miss having her best friend around. She stepped through the front door of the building, rubbing her arms to warm up as she waited for the elevator. Upon arrival at his floor she spotted another girl making her way down the hall in a classic walk of shame, and she couldn't help but wonder if she'd been in Cato's bed the night before. Being in love with someone who'd 'loved' many was difficult. Each time she overheard a conversation about how hot it was, how intense it was, how wild it was sleeping with Cato Hadley, a piece of her wished that she could play the role of a one night stand. She knew he made them feel special. It truly hurt that her own best friend put more effort into making naked girls whose names he didn't know feel important than he'd been trying to make her feel lately. But nevertheless, being in love with him wasn't a choice. He could hurt her a million times, and she would still have hope that he'd love her back.

He was startled as he heard a familiar knock on his door, followed quickly by a pang of guilt. He knew that he was being a shitty friend to Clove. He thought that pushing her away would make it easier not to have her, because she wouldn't be right there, but missing her was almost as painful as her being nothing more than his best friend. He got out of bed to answer the door, his mind blank of things he could say to her to explain why he'd been so detached.

"Hey," she said as he opened the door, unzipping her jacket. "Are you free now?" she asked, hoping he'd have some time to talk. She was grateful as he opened the door wider, stepping inside and wrapping him in a hug.

"Clove," he said quietly, his arms encircling her in a strong hug. "I think we should talk," he mumbled, sighing at the feeling of her cold cheek pressed to his bare chest.

"I think so, too," she said, letting go of him after a moment. "Is something going on with you?" she asked once they were seated on the couch, pulling her jacket off and setting it beside her. She was nervous for his answer, fearing that they were really just drifting apart. If that was truly the reason they'd been spending more time apart than together, her past year of carefully calculated mess-ups at training and tearful phone conversations explaining to her parents that she was trying her very hardest to get picked as a volunteer would have been all for nothing.

He sighed, knowing she wasn't one to dance around subjects. "I've just been a little down lately," he said, figuring that she'd see through a lie about being stressed. She was well aware that he was confident in training, and he made it clear that his life was (to her knowledge) worry free.

"What's on your mind?" she asked, tucking her feet beneath herself. "It's like you dropped off the face of the earth."

"Nothing, I'm great," he said, shrugging. "I've just been sort of busy."

She sighed, trailing her finger along the seam of her leggings. "Yeah, clearly," she said, shrugging.

He could tell where this was going, as they'd had countless similar ones in the past. "What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, chuckling slightly.

"I mean clearly you've been busy, with girls," she said, looking at him. "Is that incorrect?"

He rolled his eyes. "No, that's completely correct. I just don't know why my sex life is such a problem with you."

"It isn't," she said, the lie passing her lips easily. "But our friendship is an issue, and I just want to know if you're done being friends with me or if something else is going on."

He raised an eyebrow, his eyes scanning hers. "I'm not done being friends with you, don't be ridiculous. Am I not allowed to be having a weird time? I haven't wanted to hang out much, is that a crime?"

"I'm not being ridiculous," she mumbled, amazed at how easily he made her feel belittled without really trying. "I'm having a hard time understanding you, I guess."

"Then maybe you should stop trying to understand, Clove. I'm lonely, alright? I've been feeling really lonely lately, even with all the girls," he said, regretting it the moment he heard her scoff.

"Oh," she said, looking away from him. "Yeah, that makes sense," she continued, her tone biting.

"Clove, you know what I mean," he said, sighing and looking at her.

"I don't, actually," she said, shrugging. "I don't know how you can tell me that you're lonely when every single girl in the district wants to know if you're busy tonight, and you won't even return my calls. Your best friend's calls."

He swallowed, shaking his head. "You honestly don't know what you're talking about."

"Explain it to me," she said, looking back at him. "Please, explain yourself, because I'm so fucking tired of not being a priority anymore." Her tone was calm, as it usually was, but she felt anxious. Her relationship with Cato was a major part of her life, and it felt like it was slipping through her fingers.

He looked at her, wishing being with her was like being with other girls and he could shut her up with his mouth on hers and his hands on her skin. "You are more of a priority than anyone." The silence following his words was enough to make him uncomfortable, blanketing the room in an almost painful lack of noise.

"Can you quit being so cryptic?" she asked, her voice low. "Everything you're saying is the opposite of what you're showing, and you'd better be able to explain that."

"Fine," he said, moving closer to her. "I'm lonely because I don't have you. I don't return your calls because I just wish you would go away and stop fucking with my head," he murmured, taking a breath. "I'm not good with feelings, Clove. I'm really not good with feelings."

She shut her eyes at his proximity, her heart beating at an embarrassing rate. "You want me to go away so you don't have to deal with how you feel?"

"Of course I don't. I mean, I do, but obviously I don't," he said, unable to collect his thoughts. "You just...you have no idea. That's it. You have no idea."

"Cato, stop," she said, sighing. "What are you trying to say?"

He looked at her, swallowing. When he gazed at her, all he could see was someone too good for him. He saw unattainability, perfection, and everything he wanted but could never deserve. "I'm in love with you," he said quietly, static in his ears as he waited for her response.

She blinked slowly, looking at him. "You…oh my God," she whispered, letting out a breathy laugh. Saying that Cato was bad with feelings was more than an understatement. She couldn't recall a moment when he had actually been in a relationship, or expressed any interest in pursuing a girl for more than an evening of promiscuity in his bed. Her mind returned to the night of her fourteenth birthday, when they'd taken sips from an old bottle of champagne and laid on her bedroom floor talking about everything they possibly could.

_"Have you ever kissed anyone?" he asked, propping himself up on an elbow and looking down at her face. The corners of his mouth turned up in a grin as she giggled, the sound warming his heart. "Is that a yes or a no?" he asked, walking his fingertips up her stomach with a chuckle._

_"It's a no," she said, laughing. "I would have told you if I kissed somebody," she added, shrugging. Her breath hitched as he pulled her closer by her waist, lying down again beside her and pressing his forehead to his._

_"Want me to be your first kiss?" he murmured, the smell of her perfume enveloping him. "I'd be glad to show you what it's like…"_

_She bit her bottom lip, her heart pounding. "Yeah, I'd like that," she whispered. Only a moment later he was on top of her, his lips pressed to hers as she tried to figure out where her nose was supposed to go. She moved her mouth against his, feeling completely overwhelmed by his hand moving along the curve of her waist and his tongue coaxing her mouth open. She allowed him entrance, mimicking his movements and trying her hardest to keep up._

_He pulled away for a moment, grinning slightly at the sight of her smeared lipstick and reddened cheeks. "Wow," he whispered, taking a deep breath. "Happy birthday."_

_She nodded slightly, her eyes scanning his face. "Wow," she agreed, her breaths coming quickly. Her mouth was captured by his once again, and she let out a gasp against his lips as he slipped his hand beneath the hem of her dress."Cato," she mumbled against his mouth. "We should stop," she whispered._

_"You don't like it?" he asked quietly, rubbing his thumb in circles on her inner thigh._

_"I like it, I just don't know…" she trailed off as his thumb inched higher, her eyes opening slowly. "You're not my boyfriend, we shouldn't."_

_"We're best friends," he said, his hand venturing further and her legs clamping shut. "Clove…"_

_"Stop," she breathed, looking at him with wide eyes. "I wanted to kiss, that's all. We're not together, it's not right."_

"Say something, please," he mumbled, having been watching her blank expression for nearly a minute.

"Sorry," she said quickly, letting out another laugh. "You're an idiot."

He raised his eyebrows, swallowing. "Why's that?"

"You're in love with me," she said, moving closer to him. "You're in love with me, and you spend every single night with someone else," she said, looping an arm around his neck. "I've been right here, Cato. You could have been doing all of those things with me, but you were too preoccupied to see that I'm in love with you, too." She shook her head, sighing. "And I don't care at all."

"What an interesting way to let me know how you feel," he said, smirking slightly. "You're telling me that I'm bad at communication, and that I can't see what's right in front of me, but you have the exact same problem." He held her face in his hands, looking into her eyes. "Do you realize how masochistic that is?" he murmured. "To keep something like that inside?"

She nodded, taking a breath. "I know," she said quietly, placing her free hand on his chest. "Every single thing you do hurts me. Every single thing."

"But you're alright with it?" he murmured, pulling her face closer to his. "You're okay with the fact that I've slept with countless girls, that I've been ignoring you?"

"You're cruel, and I'm not alright with it," she breathed, her eyes locked on his. "I hate it. I hate that those girls aren't me, and I hate that you haven't been talking to me, and I hate that you weren't my first and I wasn't yours."

"So what are we going to do about it?" he whispered, his lips brushing hers. "I'm here, and I love you. You love me, too, so much that you don't care about every shitty thing I've done. Does that mean you want to-" He was caught by surprise as she kissed him, her mouth silencing his instead of the other way around. Her kiss was full of force, and by the time they broke apart he could think of nothing besides her lips fitted with his.

"You're such an idiot," she mumbled, pressing herself closer to him. "You're an idiot, and more than a little sadistic, and I want to be with you more than anything else in the world," she said, sighing as his lips found her neck. "And it took us way too long."

"I'm not what you need," he said, nipping at her skin. "I'm nowhere near good enough for you."

"And I'm nowhere near giving a fuck," she replied, climbing onto his lap. "I honestly couldn't care less about any of that right now."

"I don't want to rush," he murmured, though his actions told a different story as he kissed along her jaw.

"Shut up," she muttered. "The conversation's over."

"You have no idea what you're getting yourself into," he whispered, his hands skimming over her sides.

She pressed her lips to his, biting his bottom lip before pulling away. "I know."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews so far, I'm happy to see some readers from DTRH have come to check out this one! I hope you enjoy this chapter, and I'm very glad to be writing again.**

Clove kissed him slowly, the electricity between them sending waves of need through both of their bodies. She was angry at him for tearing her heart apart for so long, but she finally had what she wanted and she wasn't about to let it go. She let his hands slide into her tank top without protest, savoring the feeling of his large hands encasing her small frame. "You're the worst," she murmured as he pulled her top off over her head.

"I'll break your heart," he whispered, biting her pulse point a bit harder than necessary. He held her firmly against him, his lips claiming every inch of visible skin on his way back to her mouth. Their kisses were hungry and eager, her hands tangled in his hair and his fingers blazing lines of fire up and down her bare sides.

"Is that a promise?" she breathed once he kissed her neck again. She ground into him mercilessly, tilting her head back and letting out a satisfied sound as he tugged the straps of her sports bra down and scattered kisses across her chest.

"I'll ruin you and put you back together again more times that you could count," he muttered, taking one of her sensitive peaks into his mouth and biting lightly.

"Fuck," she whimpered, arching her back. Her mind was void of thoughts unrelated to him as he teased her expertly with his tongue, her breaths rapid and shallow.

He shifted their positions, hovering over her on the couch and yanking her leggings down. "You were so nervous when I tried to touch you the first time," he murmured, rubbing her thigh in the same way he had on the night of their first kiss. "And you said no, but I think you've gotten over it."

She nodded, propping her feet up on the couch and guiding his hand to her center. "I've definitely gotten over it," she said, sighing with pleasure as he rubbed her firmly through the cloth of her underwear.

He indulged himself for a few more moments, enjoying his ability to feel the dampness forming between her legs. "Do you know how many times I've tried to picture you?" he murmured, pulling her leggings all the way off before hooking his fingers in the sides of her panties. "How many times I've been with a girl and wondered if you'd moan like that, or if you'd look the same naked…" He finished tugging down her underwear, chuckling slightly as she kicked them onto the floor before wiggling out of her sports bra.

She trailed a hand down his arm, smirking slightly. "And?" she asked, tilting her head.

"And I feel lucky," he murmured, kissing her deeply before pulling away to pull his sweats off. "Because you're incredibly sexy, Clove," he added, straddling her hips and holding the side of her neck as he kissed her fully. He let out a low chuckle as Clove's hand squeezed him through his boxers, kissing her again with a grin.

"They weren't lying," she said, laughing into the kiss. "All those girls, they say you're huge," she mumbled, palming his member through the thin fabric. "You like that?" she asked with a grin, noticing his expression as he pulled away from the kiss.

"No, I hate it," he said, rolling his eyes as she slipped her hand past his waistband. "How many guys have you-"

"I don't kiss and tell," she interrupted, pumping her hand quickly and letting out a soft squeak as he pushed two fingers into her. "Unlike you, the people I've been with don't broadcast it to the entire world."

"I can't help that I give them something to talk about," he said, suppressing a groan at the movement of her hand. He slid his fingers in and out of her quickly, his thumb flicking back and forth over her bundle of nerves.

She moaned, her hips moving in time with his hand. "All this talk, and you're showing me something a fifteen year old could do behind the training center," she breathed, arching her back.

He drew his fingers from her slowly, then grabbed her waist and moved her so she was sitting up with her back against the armrest of the couch. "I'm just getting started, baby," he said, pushing his boxers down and standing up beside Clove. He raised an eyebrow at her gripping himself in one hand and reaching for the back of her head with the other.

She smirked, her tongue darting out for a teasing moment. "I don't swallow," she murmured, raising an eyebrow as she took his halfway into her mouth, sucking firmly.

He groaned in the back of his throat, dropping his hand from his member to his side. "No worries, we'll figure something out," he said, sighing with approval as she took him deep into her mouth.

She took her time, alternating between sucking on his head and running the flat of her tongue along his length. Her eyes remained open as she continued her motions, a small smirk on her lips at the sounds he was making.

"Five? Ten?" he mumbled, his voice husky and his fingers twisted in her hair.

She pulled her mouth off of him with a laugh, gripping his base in her hand. "What are you talking about?"

"How many guys?" he asked, letting out a grunt as she gave his member a quick squeeze.

"That's still not your business," she murmured, taking her hand away. "Are you scared you won't impress me?" It amused her that he was so baffled by the idea of a private sex life. People were allowed to know about how she was doing in training, or where she went running in the mornings, but her private life stayed the way it was meant to: private.

"I'm just dying of curiosity," he said, undeniably missing the feeling of her mouth but not wanting to give her the upper hand. "I'm an open book, and you're...not."

"That was eloquent," she said, smirking and standing up. "Are you going to take me to bed, or do I have to take you?"

He laughed, picking her up by her thighs. "You're really eager," he said as her ankles hooked behind him and her arms draped loosely over his shoulders.

"I'm really horny," she said, tilting her head. It was hard to try and organize her thoughts at the moment; she was generally calculated in her actions, weighing the consequences before making choices. When she'd thought about sleeping with Cato in the past, she had a plan. She wouldn't rush, she'd set boundaries, she'd define their relationship. All of that careful planning was for naught, however, because as he threw her down onto his bed and got rid of his boxers completely all she could think was 'please fuck me please please please Cato'.

He gazed down at her, never having seen such a perfect sight splayed out on his bedspread. His best friend lay completely vulnerable before him, because she trusted him and wanted him and loved him. He knelt on the bed as she sat up, marking her collarbone with his teeth before kissing her mouth. "You have no idea how much you mean to me," he whispered, pressing the tip of his length to her opening.

She kissed him passionately as he entered her, leaning back on her elbows with an appreciative moan that vibrated against his lips. Each stroke of his hips was stronger than the last, and soon she was flat on her back with his hands on her breasts and the air filled with their comingled moans of ecstasy.

He grunted as he thrust harder into her, unable to believe the vast difference between intimacy with her and intimacy with anyone else. The girl writhing beneath him wasn't some desperate girl he'd propositioned at training, she was the girl he'd taught to do the monkey bars when they were still in primary school. Her high pitched exclamations of ecstasy were created by the same voice that encouraged him to climb to the top of the rock wall even though he was more scared than he could admit. She was close, and she was familiar. As he pounded into her and she released a strand of breathy profanities, he concluded that sex with familiar people was very dangerous.

"Cato," she cried, and in the back of her mind she knew that whoever shared a wall with him had heard something very similar almost every night. She bit his lip as she neared her climax, clawed his chest, snapped her hips into his with just as much force as he was exerting, because she was mad. She was mad, yet as she trembled beneath him and he pressed her harder into the bed with his palms on her stomach, she was forgiving.

He held her down as she tightened and pulsed around him, letting out a final groan before his release claimed his senses and the movement of his hips slowed. "Clove," he mumbled, cupping her face in his hands after a moment and kissing her lightly. "I love you."

She sighed, running her tongue along his bottom lip. "I love you, too," she whispered, adjusting with a quiet whimper as he pulled out of her. "I need to shower," she said quietly, though her motivation to get out of bed with him was nonexistent.

"I don't mind," he said, smirking a bit and trailing his hand to the apex of her thighs.

She laughed, shaking her head slightly and grabbing his wrist. "You're obnoxious," she said, nuzzling his neck. "I sort of hate you a lot."

"Thanks, you too," he said, chuckling. "Of all the people I hate, you're the hottest," he murmured, his fingertips dragging across her abdomen.

"Of all the people I'm in love with, you're the worst at compliments," she said, kissing his jaw. She laid beside him and matched her breath with his, losing herself in the feeling of his bare skin against hers. "I don't want to have to make this difficult," she whispered after a while, only half sure she spoke aloud at all.

"It's already difficult," he said, pressing his lips to his forehead. "I don't know how to do this, Clove. You know that."

"I don't know how to do it either," she said, kneading her bottom lip. She felt suddenly terrified that she'd made a huge mistake, but the feeling was masked as her lips found his in their newly familiar way.

"Don't overthink it, baby," he murmured, pulling away enough to look at her. "Thinking ruins everything."

"Thinking doesn't ruin everything, people ruin everything," she said, shaking her head.

"What part of 'I'm going to break your heart' did you not understand?" he asked, massaging her hip slowly.

"The part where you thought that would actually change my mind," she murmured. "You're afraid of your feelings, and it's bullshit. I'm not going to let you be a coward," she said, taking a breath. "I'm scared, too, but that's not an excuse anymore."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'm glad you guys are enjoying the story so far, I promise I'll be good about updating once my show closes, but I'll be in rehearsals for another one soon after that :') Reviews are always lovely to read! xx**

Cato drifted off to sleep with Clove's body pressed to his, the sheets tangled between their legs and her face buried in his neck. He woke up slowly, feeling her shift against him and smiling to himself at her quiet yawn. For a split second, the scene seemed blissful to him. He could get used to waking up to her soft skin against his, and her hair spread across his pillow in stark contrast to the porcelain of her bare shoulders. "Are you leaving?" he asked as she slipped from his arms, his eyes drifting lazily over her body as she got out of bed.

"That's how it works, yeah?" She didn't mean to sound snarky, but didn't feel particularly bad as his face faltered for a moment. Truthfully, she was leaving for her own sake. She needed time and space to think, because going too long without having a logical thought process scared her more than almost anything else. She'd just slept with her best friend after they confessed their love to each other, and she felt that it would be safe to have some time on her own to figure out her next move.

"Clove," he said, sighing. "That's how it works with girls that I don't care about," he said, shaking his head. "That's not how it works with you." He had no idea what angle to take with her. They were on the same page when it came to wanting to be more than friends, but besides that he was completely clueless as to what she wanted from him.

"Why?" she asked, leaving the room briefly to gather her clothes before returning to the side of the bed and sitting down to pull on her underwear. "Because I'm special, and important, and the most beautiful girl you've ever seen in your entire life?" she asked, her tone flat and her head tilted.

"Precisely," he said, though he was very aware of what she was trying to do. "And I'm not being sarcastic."

She laughed quietly, shaking her head. "I'm just not sure when I'm supposed to start thinking you're sincere," she said, still getting dressed. "You've said the same things to so many girls, Cato. You can't just expect me to take it like it means something." She stood up to zip her jacket, her brows furrowed.

"It does mean something," he said, wishing she would just shut up and get back into bed and let him whisper into her ear until she believed he was being serious.

"I don't want to talk about it right now," she said, looking at him. "I don't expect you to suddenly become all sentimental and honest and sweet, so you can save it." She considered the possibility that she was being cold, but her natural defenses weren't going to be forgotten after something that occurred only hours before. Ice takes time to melt, after all. "I'm confused," she admitted, sitting down beside him and reaching for his hand. It was comforting to have her hand tucked into his, yet the way his thumb circled the back of her hand made the hair at the back of her neck stand up and she wasn't sure if it was out of fear or something else.

"So am I," he said, nodding. "Because I'm feeling a lot of things that I'm not used to, and I think that's where you're at, too."

She leaned against him, shutting her eyes briefly. "That's definitely where I'm at," she mumbled, squeezing his hand. "You fuck with my head, blondie."

"Sorry," he said, chuckling. "You fuck with my head, too." He smiled against her lips as she kissed him, letting go of her hand to cup her chin.

"This is just so weird," she mumbled, kissing him again before opening her eyes. The way he was looking at her,his eyes fogged by an emotion she'd never seen him express, terrified her greatly. "I need to go, I'll talk to you later."

He nodded, his fingers brushing the side of her neck as she stood. "Alright, later," he murmured, his room unbearably silent as his front door clicked shut behind her. He usually felt relieved after the girl he'd fooled around with left. Sometimes they were too clingy, or too naive to comprehend the concept of a one night stand or random tryst. Sometimes they wanted to cuddle, or talk, or clarify "what they were", which just made him feel physically ill. Clove was different, though. Excruciatingly different. He wanted her to be clingy and he wished that she'd stay all day with him, but it didn't appear that she was even of the same species as the others.

Clove was flustered as she made her way back to her dorm; her body felt foreign and her clothes clung to all of the places his hands had discovered. Her heart beat faster than it did when she ran, and her stomach turned each time she revisited the recent events in her mind. His hands holding her face as his mouth met hers, his teeth biting down on her neck, his muscles flexing as he held himself above her. It would be much harder to dwell on the aforementioned details if this 'him' wasn't Cato. If 'his' hands belonged to any other guy, she'd take a moment to relish the time they'd shared and move on. Cato set a new standard, though. He made her feel ways that she never thought she would feel, and she hated to admit that the reason was love. Love made kisses better, and moans louder, but also made things in general much more frustrating to deal with.

Cato stayed in bed for quite a while, fairly certain that he could still taste Clove in his mouth. She was enchanting and intoxicating, and now that he'd been with her once he wanted her over and over again. Sex was always simple for him: he enjoyed the female body, he enjoyed what girls were willing to do with him, and he enjoyed being desired. Clove, however, ruined that simplicity. His other partners would never compare to her. Where they were meek and submissive she was confident, and that excited him more than being in total control ever did.

She walked into her bathroom upon returning to her dorm, sighing as she turned on the shower. It was partially for the common purpose of regular personal hygiene, but for the most part she was showering because it was impossible to focus with the smell of him lingering on her skin. She took a deep breath once she was shrouded in hot water and steam, closing her eyes. She almost had to laugh as she squeezed body wash into her hand; no matter how hard she scrubbed she wouldn't be able to avoid thinking about him. She surveyed her collection of knives after getting dressed in sweats and a long sleeve shirt, sending each of the freshly sharpened weapons hurdling through the air into her bedroom wall. There were plenty of marks already left by previous bouts of strong emotion, but this time she didn't feel much relief. Throwing usually calmed her down, or at least provided distraction, but today that was not the case.

The day passed slowly for Cato and Clove, each of them completely wrapped up in thinking about the other. Clove cleaned her room and did a load of laundry, her mind no less occupied with the situation at hand. Though she'd only left hours ago, by sunset Cato was anxious to see her again. He showered after making himself a quick dinner and picked up his phone, dialing Clove's number quickly.

"Hey, Cato," she answered, realizing aftwr the fact that she should have let it ring a couple times before picking up. "Need something?" She hated that things were already so different. Before he'd started drifting away from her, they could talk for hours on end over the phone and it would be completely normal. Now she couldn't say two words to him without her heart pounding in her chest and her face feeling warm.

"I was wondering if I could come see you," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I feel like we should talk, right?"

She laughed slightly. "That might be a good idea, see you in a few," she said, not quite positive about the things she wanted to say.

He left quickly, pulling on a sweatshirt before leaving on the familiar walk to Clove's building. He was halfway down her hall when someone tapped on his shoulder, the smell of an incredibly strong perfume nearly causing him to cough.

"Hey, you," a female voice lilted, her tone obviously flirtatious. Cato turned around to be greeted by an easily forgettable girl; it didn't take him long to realize that he'd hooked up with her before, but besides that there was nothing about her that particularly stood out. Her hair was dark brown and her skin fair, but she lacked the very thing he was craving.

"Hey," he said, offering a quick nod. He was definitely not in the mood to have a conversation with one of his one night stands, and it took all of his strength not to sprint the rest of the way down the hall.

The girl stepped close to him, her bottom lip between her teeth in a way that he probably found attractive on the night (maybe nights?) that they'd been together. "What are you doing over here? Looking for somewhere to sleep tonight?"

He rolled his eyes. "I'm not interested, I'm visiting Clove," he said, shaking his head. "See you around, I guess." He'd be lying if he said he felt guilty as her face fell.

Clove jumped at the sound of Cato knocking on her door, having been lost in thought. She took a moment to adjust her clothes before letting him in, mostly for the purpose of looking less eager than she really was to see him again. There was a long stretch of time after she stepped back to let him inside, during which they stared intently at each other and attempted to breathe normally. "We should talk," she mumbled, swallowing as his hand came to rest on her waist.

He nodded, pulling her closer and pushing the door shut with his foot. "I want to be with you," he said, his free hand running up and down her arm.

"I know that," she said quietly, looking up at him. "I want to be with you, too." She'd already said that she was scared, and saying it again would be unnecessary. Her eyes fluttered shut as he moved his hand from her arm to her chin, as though even the simple idea of kissing him had a powerful effect.

He chuckled, taking in the look on her face before her eyes opened again. "You said you wanted to talk," he murmured, pulling her face closer to his and leaning down enough to brush his lips against hers.

She sighed against his lips. "You're going to be the death of me," she whispered, her arms encircling his neck. "I think this is a horrible idea." She wasn't lying, but she also found herself wondering if the fact that an idea was horrible would keep her from wanting whatever that idea would lead to in the end.

"Yeah?" he asked, biting her bottom lip softly before finally indulging in a kiss. "I'm glad we're on the same page, then."

She kissed him back harder than she meant to, pulling away a bit later than she'd intended. "What kind of guy promises to break a girl's heart?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. "That's just cruel."

"I honestly don't think anything I could say would scare you off, though," he said, a smirk on his lips. "I told you I'd break your heart, but you picked up when I called." He knew it was messed up to enjoy making a game of her emotions as much as he did, but being right was his specialty and he wasn't about to let her change that. "You want me, and you're in love with me."

She sighed, running her fingers through his hair. "You're sick," she muttered, kissing him quickly. "You think that this is all a joke or something, when I have legitimate feelings for you…It's been less than a day and I could practically murder you," she said, her breath hitching in her throat as he spun her around quickly and pinned her against the wall.

"Could you?" he asked, holding her wrists above her head and keeping her hips in place with his own. "Because I think I could kill you much easier than you could kill me."

She huffed with annoyance, narrowing her eyes at him. "This isn't the conversation we need to be having," she said, turning her head away as he leaned in to kiss her.

"Why are you so hung up on talking?" he asked, settling for nipping at the soft skin of her neck. "You're in love with me, I'm in love with you," he murmured, sucking on the skin beneath her jaw. "And correct me if I'm wrong, but the sex was the best either of us had ever experienced." He listened to the way her breathing picked up as his lips traveled over her skin, thrilled that he was already discovering her weaknesses. "It all seems pretty simple to me," he lied, his lips only a centimeter away before he released her suddenly and took a step back.

"It doesn't seem simple to me," she said, shrugging and casting her eyes towards the floor. "You went from being my best friend to not speaking to me at all, and now we're...I don't know, we're together. It's not simple at all, it's pretty fucking strange."

"So just let it be strange," he said, waiting for her to look up at him again before kissing her slowly. He was making an attempt at actually figuring out how she was feeling, but more than anything he was exercising his skill at getting her worked up. "You can't be in control of every little thing, you know. You'll drive yourself insane trying to make everything perfect."

It infuriated her that he didn't seem half as baffled at the whole concept of their relationship as she was, but trying to explain all of the reasons they couldn't work as a pair would be more than counterproductive. She'd been waiting for what seemed like an impossibly long time for him to show his feelings for her, and she wasn't going to destroy her chances of the future she'd imagined countless times by talking him out of it."You just don't get how love is supposed to work."

He scoffed, shaking his head. "And you do?"

"I get how it's supposed to work for me," she said, suddenly wishing they could have just spoken over the phone so that she could have the last word and hang up.

"That's the most ridiculous thing I've heard all day," he said, stepping close to her again. "You're the one that said you _loved_ every guy that showed you the smallest bit of attention." He grabbed her hips, pressing her against the wall once more. "Are you forgetting the guys that you told me about? Your boyfriends? You told me that they all _loved_ you. You'd say things like 'he loves me, Cato. He really does, he said so right before we fucked in the bathroom.'" He took a breath, taking his time before speaking again. "Are you just choosing to block that out? Because I remember pretty well. None of those guys loved you, Clove. Not one. They loved that you were easy, and that you were too insecure to say no." He watched as her expression turned from shock to hurt, letting out a bitter laugh. "At least I can admit that I'm not an expert on love."

"I was immature," she said, her tone venomous. "I went through a phase and I grew out of it. You can't hold something like that against me when I've changed," she said, shaking her head. "You, though, you haven't changed at all. I slept with a handful of guys, I'll admit to that, and I'll admit that I was insecure and easy and I just wanted the attention, but I don't have such huge issues with myself that I need a different girl every night to keep me feeling like an alpha."

"You're not as perceptive as you seem," he said, smirking. "It wasn't a different girl every night, sweetheart. It was the same girl over and over again, for all I could tell. It was a watered down version of who I wanted for years."

"You're a coward," she said, shaking her head. "You could have just said something, but now you're trying to justify your inability to keep it in your pants with some bullshit about all of those girls being substitutes for me."

"You could have said something, too," he countered, shrugging although her comments were getting to him. She was smart, and arguing with her only served as proof. "You definitely have a working mouth."

"Talking was a bad idea," she mumbled, irritated for a fleeting moment as he planted his lips on hers. "And you've got to stop using kisses to shut me up," she continued, cracking a smile as he kissed her again.

"You're just too much fun to mess with," he whispered, grinning as she stood on her toes to take control of the kiss.

"I think you're just easily entertained."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sorry this update is so delayed, lots of stuff is going on and auditions are coming up for another show so my schedule is all insane again. This chapter is pretty short but hopefully it's fun to read (: Keep reviewing! xo**

The dynamic between Cato and Clove was hard to follow; one moment they were attacking one another with painfully accurate reminders of their past (or present) character, and the next they were fighting with their tongues in a more literal sense. With his large hands pressed into her hips and her nails raking across the back of his neck, they managed once again to resolve their initial need for explanation with the intimacy they couldn't achieve with words alone.

"I'm not easily entertained," Cato murmured, biting down hard enough on her bottom lip to make her growl at the sharp pain. "If I was easily entertained, I'd be content with the boring, desperate girls that are always ready and available," he continued, allowing his bottom half to grind against hers. "I'm not easily entertained, I'm just entertained by you in particular."

She laughed as he nipped at her earlobe, smoothing her hands down the front of his shirt. "What's so incredible about me, Cato? I'm just an easy brunette, like the others." She'd always been good at using people's words against them, whether it was for blackmail or simply her own self-satisfaction. With Cato it was the most difficult, though, because for everything she could drag up about him, he had something for her as well.

"You're so wrong," he said as one of his hands ventured to her chest, the movement of his fingers over the material of her shirt much more gentle than his tone. "You're just so...infuriating," he whispered, smirking at the way her mouth fell open in a quiet moan as he massaged her breast through her clothing. "You're the only girl that makes me legitimately angry, and you're gorgeous, and you've actually got a brain in your head." He kissed along her jaw, the hand on her hip relocating to her lower back. He pulled away from the wall and closer to himself, closing his eyes as he pressed his lips to hers once more before pressing his forehead to hers. "I'm not going to stand here and tell you why you're amazing. I shouldn't have to justify it, and I know you're not that insecure."

She had to consciously keep herself from scoffing, resulting in a long exhale and a stretch of silence. "You're really good at making assumptions," she said, shaking her head. She disappeared into her head for a moment, considering the fact that quite a lot had changed since Cato had begun drifting away from her. Waiting for him to actually ask how she'd been would be pointless, for she was certain that he would only become concerned if she brought it up. He wasn't completely oblivious and she did consider him one of the most perceptive people when it came to reading her emotions when they were face to face, but he was also the type to assume that things were fine unless otherwise stated.

"And you're really good at making broad, cryptic statements instead of just saying what you want to say," he retorted, his voice low. "It's nice when you let your guard down, Clove," he murmured, his voice a bit more gentle. "You don't have to hide from me, you can save the defensiveness and all that for someone who hasn't known you for your whole life."

She sighed, feeling that he was somewhat correct. At the same time, however, she found it beyond irritating that he thought being best friends with someone, or whatever they were now, was a convincing enough reason to completely open up. "I need to keep some parts of me to myself," she said, shrugging. "I don't think that's too much to ask. I can be defensive if I want, because I'm allowed to have things to defend."

"Fair enough," he said, nodding a bit and running his hand up and down her back. "Hey, look. We talked," he said, cracking a smile as he saw the corners of her mouth lift into a miniscule grin.

"We're the couple of the year," she said, laughing quietly. "We had a conversation that was more or an argument than anything, and you almost made my lip bleed."

"Couple," he said, nodding slightly. "So we're a you-and-me, me-and-you sort of thing?"

She raised an eyebrow, looping her arms around his neck. "I thought we'd established that when we agreed that we're 'together'," she said, idly playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. "Was it not clear?"

"No," he said, earning an adorably puzzled look from Clove. "I mean yeah," he amended, chuckling. "I mean, it's very clear, I just hadn't attached that specific word to us yet," he said, both of his hands coming to rest at her waist. "I just feel like spending all of this time trying to define what our relationship is might be wasting time we could use for other things."

She laughed, kissing him with a tantalizingly low amount of pressure before pulling away. "I can't just let you stroll in here and fuck me whenever you want, blondie," she said, slithering out of his arms and walking towards her bedroom.

"I'm pretty sure you can," he said, following after her. "Give me one reason why you don't want to have sex with me in this very moment."

She smirked, turning to face him. "I just don't want to see that smug little look on your face," she said, looking up at him. "It's cute and everything, and it did turn me on when you pinned me against the wall, but I feel like your ego is going to explode and cause a mess all over my carpet," she said, restraining a laugh at the expression on his face.

"Now you're just being a bitch," he said, laughing.

"I know that, but don't you think we should try to slow down a little bit?" She wasn't experienced in good relationships at all. She was, however, experienced in bad ones, and she saw rushing into things as one of her biggest downfalls. She and Cato had already rushed, but she'd come to the conclusion that their love wasn't necessarily linear. Still, she wanted to keep some sense of control in the matter.

He held his hands up in surrender, taking a step back. "Fine, fine. We'll slow down. But don't go all prude on me, that would be cruel."

She rolled her eyes, combing her fingers through her hair. "In what world will I ever 'go all prude'?"

"Hopefully not this one," he said, leaning down to peck her lips. He smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck once more, kissing her repeatedly until she was giggling too much for him to get anything besides her teeth.

"You're so charming," she said sarcastically, a few giggles sneaking their way in between her words. "And by charming I mean cheesy as hell. 'Hopefully not this one'," she imitated, planting sloppy kisses all over his face. She took a step back after a moment, taking a deep breath and trying not to laugh at the blatant confusion on his face as she prepared to speak again. "'Clove, hopefully it's within a parallel universe that you decide to never have sex again," she said, putting on her best Cato Hadley squinty-eyed smolder and leaning into one hip, "because if you ever went all prude on me in this world I'd die'," she continued, admittedly cracking herself up with her own poor mockery of Cato's voice.

"What the fuck was that supposed to be?" he asked, laughing. "I don't even talk like that," he said, scooping her up in his arms suddenly and walking into her room. "Time out for you, freckles," he said, tossing her onto the bed with a laugh. "You're being punished for your pathetic comedy skills, not even for the fact that you called me cheesy," he clarified, watching her as she crossed her arms over her stomach and tried to stop laughing.

"Punish me, Cato," she said, still laughing. "I'm a shitty comedian and I need to be punished," she added, rolling dangerously close to the edge of the bed before taking a deep breath and quelling her laughter.

"Are you crying?" he asked, causing her to burst out in even more giggles than before. "Clove, you're laughing at your own terrible joke," he said, sitting down on the bed beside her. "You're fucking weird."

"Sorry," she said, gasping for breath and wiping at her eyes. "I don't know what that was about," she said, sitting up and looking at him. "I missed you a lot, I haven't laughed that much in what feels like forever," she said, smiling slightly.

"I missed you, too," he said, nodding and kissing her forehead. "And I'm glad you get so much joy out of mocking me, that's awesome."

"Yeah, that's the only reason I want you around," she said, nodding. "So I can make fun of you and then laugh so hard I cry."

"Then I'll be around, because I like seeing you so happy," he said, slipping his arm around her waist and rubbing her side softly. "You're happy, right?"

She raised her eyebrows at his question, looking at him. She'd missed the point where they'd switched from joking banter to the topic of her emotional state. "Yeah, I am," she said, nodding. "And that scares me a lot."

He frowned, stroking her cheek lightly with his free hand. "Why's that?" he asked, almost positive that he was part of (or all of) the reason.

"I don't want the person that's promised to break my heart to be my only source of happiness," she said quietly, growing extremely uncomfortable with each passing moment. She could feel the words that she wanted to say bubbling in her throat, begging to be released so that Cato would know just how vulnerable Clove was when he decided to swoop back into her life.

"I don't want that either," he said, swallowing and shaking his head. "But I...I don't want to give you false expectations. We both said this was a bad idea, and we're both deciding to overlook that. Right?"

She nodded slowly, picking at her nails. "Right."

He watched her for a while, not quite sure what to say. "I can't be your only source of happiness, alright? That's just a recipe for disaster. You've got to have something else."

The only thing that his words reassured her of was the fact that he wasn't planning on being a permanent part of her life. She desperately wanted to explain that she needed stability, but she didn't want to scare him off with a request for commitment. Her mind was screaming at her, but she didn't say a word.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I'm so glad to hear that you guys are enjoying the story! It's much different than DTRH (as you've probably noticed) and I was super nervous that you'd all hate it. I hope you keep reading, and as always I want to hear what you think of this chapter! xo**

Cato could feel the weighted silence of Clove's nonexistent response pressing down on his mind, making him wonder if it was necessary to be so blunt with her. The only reason he was blunt in the first place was because she seemed to be irritated when he left things up to chance, because she was so calculative and precise when it came to making decisions. When their relationship was on the plane of friendship-only it was fairly one dimensional. They enjoyed eachother's company, they trusted eachother, they helped eachother out and they were a source of one another's comfort. Now that they were more than friends he felt twice as responsible for her feelings, and naturally he was weary of that kind of responsibility. "Clove, I didn't mean-"

"Don't," she interrupted, sighing. "You're right, I shouldn't rely on you," she said, shaking her head and looking at him. "It's not like I've been able to in the past, anyways," she added, her scathing tone seeming to invoke the desired effect as his brows furrowed in discontent. She would admit to trying to make him feel guilty if she was asked, but of course nobody was asking.

Her words stung, because as usual they held some truth. Nevertheless, it seemed easier to ignore the facts and shift his view so that it was different than hers. "What do you mean you couldn't rely on me in the past, Clove? I've been here for everything." He knew it was a bold statement; he should have paused to think before becoming defensive so quickly.

She shook her head, casting her eyes down to her lap. "Do you realize how much can happen in months, Cato? Not all of those calls from me that you ignored were just 'what's up?' calls, I needed help and you weren't there," she said, her voice unable to hide how hurt she was by the mere memory of listening to his voicemail message over and over and over again.

He swallowed, knowing that there was nothing he could do to change the fact that he'd been actively trying to push her away. "I'm sorry," he managed, wishing he had something better to say.

"That's great," she said, her sarcasm sharp. "It's so great that you're sorry, Cato, that fixes everything. Thanks."

She was always so quick to make him feel awful, but he was beginning to wonder if he was just awful in general and she made it easier to see. "If I could make it up to you I would, Clove, you know that. I'd go back in time and be there for you but I can't do that."

"It doesn't matter what you would do, it matters what you did. And you didn't do anything," she said, rubbing her eyes. "I was completely alone without you, and when I really needed someone there wasn't anyone there."

"You could have found me," he said, hating the feeling of total guilt that engulfed him with each of her words. "You could have pulled me aside at training, or some to my dorm...You didn't have to just sit here and wait for me."

She looked at him as if he'd slapped her, shaking her head at his audacity. "Really, Cato? You wanted me to come crawling to you and beg for you to start caring about me again?"

"That isn't what I meant, I don't want to argue," he said, sighing. "I tried to apologize and you wouldn't accept it, so what else do you want me to say?"

"You're so fucking stupid sometimes," she said, groaning with exasperation.

"Explain to me then, explain what I did or what I said to make you upset with me," he said, frustrated that she wouldn't just be direct with him.

"It's more of what you didn't say, actually," she said, tapping her foot on the ground in an attempt to keep herself from raising her voice.

"God, Clove, just fucking say it! Is there something you want to tell me?" His temper flared and he could see the flash of nervousness on her face, but he was too annoyed to do anything about it.

"I don't want to tell you when you're already fucking yelling at me, Cato," she said, standing up from the bed and trying to take a calming breath.

"So you're mad at me because of something I didn't say," he said, standing up as well. "And now you won't tell me because I'm getting mad at you for not telling me why you're so mad in the first place?"

"It's not like I'm being irrational!" she shouted. "I'm not yelling instead of taking a second to think!"

"Yes, you are, and you're acting crazy so I think you need to take a moment and chill out," he said, pushing her shoulders in a way that felt light to him, but caused her to stumble backwards into the wall.

"Why are you being so hostile now? We were having fun ten minutes ago and now you're telling me I need to fucking calm down," she said, her voice quivering.

"I'm not trying to be hostile, I didn't mean to push you that hard..." he said, sighing at the look on her face. "I'm annoyed that everything with us is just a competition to make the other person feel bad, or to have to upper hand."

"I wasn't trying to compete," she said quietly, her heart thudding in her ears. "I was trying to tell you that something bad happened to me and all you were hearing was that I was mad at you for not being around," she said, her voice wavering. "All I wanted was for you to ask what happened but you just started apologizing for not being there for me because you didn't want to feel like you did something wrong. It's not all about you," she said, sniffling as her eyes stung with tears.

"Don't cry," he mumbled, squeezing his eyes shut. "Clove, I'm sorry that I didn't ask you what happened, I got all hung up on wanting out relationship to be alright and I forgot to ask about what was going on when we weren't talking."

She shook her head, sniffling again and straightening her posture. "I'm not upset with you," she said, and it was partially true. She was upset, though, by the nauseating memories that flooded back to her when he pushed her into the wall.

"You should be," he said, not sure if he should hug her or just leave her be. He frowned as he noticed her crying transition to full on sobbing, his mind empty of helpful things he could say.

She crossed her arms over her stomach, shaking her head. "Please, just go," she whispered, shuddering. "It's not your fault, but please, go," she said, swallowing back a sob as he turned and left her room. As the door slammed shut Clove let out a final sob, but allowed herself no more. She sniffled and swiped furiously at her eyes, angry that previous events could toy with her feelings and make her cry like a child. She picked up her phone, dialing a number that she knew she should have forgotten. "Meet me outside of the dorms in five minutes, okay?" she muttered as she heard someone pick up, her voice still shaky. She walked quickly to her bathroom after hanging up the phone and stood in front of her mirror, inspecting her puffy eyes and splotchy cheeks with disgust. She felt weak, and weakness at the hands of a man was number one on her hypothetical list of least favorite feelings. She grabbed a clean washcloth from the basket she kept on her counter, wetting it with cold water and pressing it to her face. "Stupid," she muttered, taking a deep breath and unzipping her makeup pouch. She was going to collect herself; the foundation and mascara and lipstick would help with all of it. Collect herself and fall apart, and collect herself again. That was the pattern, wasn't it?

Cato rubbed a hand over his face as he waited for the elevator, left uneasy by the fact that he'd pushed Clove and made her cry before leaving out of pure cowardice at facing the consequences. He should have stayed and apologized until he couldn't anymore, or tried to reassure her that he would be better or nicer or that he would listen to her more, but instead he just ran away. Once he was headed towards the first floor he could only sigh; overthinking didn't provide him with the same comfort that it provided her.

Clove adjusted her top, making sure a noticeable portion of her chest was showing before pulling on her jacket and unzipping it halfway. Though it had been at least two months since she found herself in an almost identical situation, at the moment it seemed as though it had only been a day. She slipped on her shoes and left her dorm, walking down the hall with a wad of crumpled bills in her hand.

Cato leaned against the brick wall of the dormitory building, clenching his jaw as he saw several tall males approaching the entrance. He recognized them as part of the elitist group of ex-careers that resided in District 2, and he wasn't particularly thrilled to see them. They were a popular topic of discussion at training, but he found them more annoying than possibly anyone else in the district. All of their parents were involved with the government, and he suspected that was the reason that all of them managed to avoid being chosen as volunteers for the district despite being incredibly skilled. They acted entitled, exclusive, and arrogant, and he frankly found them to be complete assholes. He looked the other way, though his focus snapped back to them as he heard Clove's name leave one of their mouths.

"Haven't heard from her in a while, have you?" one of them, a brunette, asked another with dirty blonde hair.

"Yeah, she just called out of nowhere," the blonde answered, shrugging. "Be cool, though, she probably wasn't expecting me to bring company."

Cato frowned slightly, wondering what Clove could possibly have to do with these guys, and what she had to do with them previously. He spotted Clove through the glass of the front doors, ducking around the corner in time for her to come outside without seeing him. He peered around the edge of the building at the group of four, Clove surrounded by the others.

"Hey, you," the blonde said, his eyes shifting directly to Clove's cleavage as she steps closer to him.

"Hey, Evan," Clove said, smirking slightly. "You didn't say you were bringing friends," she added, glancing at the other guys before settling her eyes on Evan once more.

"Yeah, sorry about that. That's Scott," he said, motioning to the brunette on his left, "And this is Seth." He motioned to his right, and Seth offered a slight nod. "We were about to go somewhere when you called, but we'd love for you to join us" he said, his eyes traveling up to hers from their previous point of interest. "So, usual spot?"

"Yep," she said, twisting a piece of her hair around her finger.

"Do you hang out with all of your customers on a regular basis?" Scott asked, earning a chuckle from Seth.

Cato had a bad feeling about all of this. Based on what Clove had told him earlier and the things he was hearing now, he couldn't help but worry that she was involved in something dangerous. Something bad had happened to her, and now she was hanging around with the generally feared sons of very powerful people. He considered blackmail or threats, but his mind kept returning to the fact that Evan claimed to have been summoned by Clove, and not the other way around.

"I wouldn't have time for all of them," Evan said, laughing and pinching Clove's cheek. "Just Clove, she's my favorite."

She smirked slightly, swatting his arm away. "Hands to yourself," she said, stuffing the money into his back pocket and leaning up to peck his cheek. "Let's go."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Rehearsals are already in full swing for yet another (and I think my last) show, but I'm trying to find time to update regularly! I hope you're enjoying the chapters so far, and I look forward to seeing more reviews. You get to find out what Clove is up to this chapter, enjoy... I love you all (: xo**

Clove walked close to Evan as the group of four made their way along the sidewalk, trying to consider his hand pressing into her lower back as merely a friendly gesture. She focused on the cement beneath her feet, only looking up when they reached their destination. It was a nondescript cement structure in the corner of the district's usually deserted park, and was bare except for several metal benches forming a loosely interpreted triangle in the center. There was no ceiling so as to allow light during the day and darkness at night, but none of the current occupiers knew what the building's original purpose was. Clove pushed her hair back behind her shoulders with cold fingers, watching as Seth unzipped his backpack and removed a small metal box. She shivered, taking a deep breath and looking up at Evan. "I didn't bring my own stuff, is that okay?"

Evan chuckled, nodding. "Sharing is caring, right?"

She laughed, shrugging and glancing over at the box again, which had been set on one of the benches and opened to display its contents. Three metal straws and seven small glass bottles glinted in the sunlight, an irresistible beacon that she hadn't come in contact with in what seemed like too long.

"Alright," Scott said, picking up four of the bottles and handing three to Clove. "I'm assuming you want to save these for later," he said, nodding as she slipped them into the pocket of her jacket. He set the fourth bottle on the bench, Evan and Seth standing beside him as Clove knelt on the ground and grabbed a straw from the box.

Cato didn't know what to think as Clove walked off with Evan and the others; it wasn't his business where they were going but he felt that it should be. He watched them walk away until they were no longer visible, then started on the way back to his dorm. For a moment he'd considered going after Clove, but he had no idea what sort of situation he'd be in with the three boys accompanying her if he were to do so. He was worried about her, but he had no idea how to find out if she was okay or needed his help. Something had changed while they weren't talking, and it was more than the vague occurrence that Clove had been referencing during their conversation.

Clove set the straw beside the bottle, smiling slightly as it clung to the metal of the bench. Her fingers unscrewed the cap swiftly and she squeezed the rubber tip that protruded from the top, drawing a silvery liquid into the dropper. She could feel Evan's eyes on her as Seth and Scott picked up two of the remaining bottles and the rest of the straws before retreating to one of the other benches. She carefully deposited three large drops onto the bench, the substance forming near-perfect spheres and staying stationary. She exhaled and held the straw to her nose, pressing her other nostril shut as she moved the straw over the metallic droplets to inhale them sharply. She set the straw down and pinched her nose shut, biting her bottom lip as Evan combed his fingers through her hair. Her nose felt extremely cold as she set both of her hands flat on the bench, the sensation soon switching to searing heat that burned from her nostril into the back of her throat. It was a familiar feeling that she welcomed, because she knew that the incredibly comfortable blanket of pleasant numbness and calm was soon to follow. Physical pain would cease as though her nerves were set to reject anything less than pleasant, and her thoughts would become focused but simplified. As the onset of euphoria began she stood up, leaning back against Evan with a soft sigh.

Evan continued stroking her hair, smirking as small murmurs of content passed her lips. "Why'd you decide to call me after so long? I was starting to think you'd lost your taste for it," he said, his hand dipping to the curve of her lower back before inching back up to her shoulders.

She swallowed, the trail that his hand created feeling electric as the rest of her body hummed with warmth. "I had a bad morning, and I don't want to deal with it right now," she said, her voice smooth and light. "I needed to get out of like...I don't know, I needed to get out of that negative zone of thinking, if that makes sense."

He nodded slowly, glancing over at Scott who was halfway through ingesting his whole bottle and Seth who seemed to have stopped after a significantly smaller amount. "Do you want me to walk you home? They'll be here a while," he said, his arm curling around her waist.

She hesitated, but her brain was too relaxed for her to have any objection. "Yeah, sure," she murmured, nodding. She floated out of the park with him, her arms limp at her sides and her head against his arm. For the moment she wasn't focused on Cato; she was enjoying the feeling of the cold air against her now warm face, and the clean smell of whatever laundry detergent Evan used on his sweatshirt. She could zero in on a sensation, down to how each step she took his hand rubbed her side ever so slightly and the material of her top moved over her skin, and in doing so the space in her brain was filled with how she was feeling physically rather than emotionally.

"Do you want me to walk you up?" He was careful with Clove, and the fact that he hadn't seen her in a while wouldn't change that. When they'd begun talking it was an accident, and he'd happened upon her when she was in a place of greater vulnerability than she'd ever been before. He recognized that and offered what he could to ease the pain that resulted, because she was pretty and alone and it was hard to resist someone so perfectly distressed. He knew the darkest parts of her life, and that made him careful but bold.

Clove nodded in response to his question, looking up at him. "You can stay for a little bit, unless you want to get back to your friends," she said, her words coming out in puffs of white as her breath hit the air.

He looked down, his eyes first landing on her chest, then her lips, then her widened eyes. "Tease," he muttered, chuckling and shaking his head as he walked her inside of her building and towards the elevator.

"I'm not being a tease," she said, smiling slightly and shaking her head as they entered the elevator. "I just really want to be around another person right now." She turned to face him, placing her hands on either side of his face and leaning up on her toes. "Your lips are cold and mine are warm," she whispered. "I want to know what they feel like together."

"Clove," he murmured, placing his hands on her hips. "You're something else, for sure." He grinned slightly as her lips met his, kissing her deeply and pulling her closer to him.

"It feels nice," she said, pulling away after a moment and holding a hand to her lips to feel if they were actually on fire or if it was only in her mind. "I was just curious."

"Mhmm," he mumbled, sneaking in a quick squeeze to her backside before taking her hand and leading her out of the elevator and down the hall. "So, you're still not seeing anyone?" he asked, waiting for her as she unlocked her door and let him inside.

"I don't know," she said, shrugging and shutting the door behind him. "I mean, I think I am, but I know he isn't going to stay."

He watched her as she unzipped her jacket and tossed it onto the couch, nodding at her words. "Would he mind that you kissed me?"

She laughed, nodding. "Probably, but I don't feel that bad," she said, moving towards Evan and taking a small breath. "I don't want to talk about him, okay? He's why I wanted to feel better in the first place." She smiled as his arms encircled her, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I'm allowed to feel good, I don't have to feel sad because of anyone," she said quietly, pressing her body close to his.

He held her against him, glad that he accepted her invitation to come inside. "That's exactly right," he whispered, his lips connecting to hers once more.

Their second kiss wasn't any better than the first, and Clove considered that maybe it was only enjoyable the first time because of the difference in temperature. She let him kiss her, though, because it felt better than being alone and she sort of liked the way he was forceful and sloppy and careless because it wasn't confusing. Cato was confusing; he was passionate and precise and deliberate and there were always countless potential reasons for his words or actions. Evan, however, was simple. He liked Clove, he found her physically attractive, and he was willing to overlook her confusion about her current relationship in order to kiss her and feel her up while she was high. His wandering hands didn't bother her, and she almost laughed at how uninteresting his touch felt in comparison to Cato's. He was rough in the wrong ways, squeezing and grabbing and pawing with no true idea of how it would affect her or if it would affect her at all. She giggled into his mouth as he kneaded her backside, amused at his juvenile movements and slobbery kisses. "I think you should go, your friends might be dead or something," she said after a few more long minutes of faked enjoyment. She'd come to the conclusion that hooking up with other people was not going to be the are sparks you can feel when your mind is under the influence and sparks that you can feel with someone you truly connect with, and Clove's lips connecting with Evan's didn't produce any of the latter. Cato excited her and kept her on her toes, while kissing Evan was like a candle doused in ice water.

Cato had been sitting in his room for almost an hour, anxiously running through scenarios in his head for what Clove's involvement with Evan could be. Now he walked briskly down her hall, stopping in his tracks as he saw her door open and none other than the person plaguing his thoughts step out with the most smug expression he'd ever seen. Cato clenched his fists at the implications, unable to keep from jumping to conclusions at the sight of Evan's accomplished grin. He waited until the other blonde had passed him before walking up to Clove's door, opening the door without knocking to see her tugging her top down and running a hand through her mussed hair. "Really, Clove?" he asked, his tone bitterly accusatory.

"I remember asking you to leave, I don't recall inviting you back," she said, a small smile still on her lips.

"Tell me what you did with him," he said, shaking his head. "Don't fuck around, just tell me."

"It's not your problem, Cato. You said you don't want to be the only source of my happiness anyways," she said, grinning with a shrug.

He stepped closer to her, narrowing his eyes. "Did he drug you?" he asked suddenly, noticing her dilated pupils almost immediately.

"No," she said, laughing and shaking her head. She scowled as he grabbed the sides of her face, trying to pull his hands away. "Calm down, crazy."

"Is he blackmailing you? Are you in some kind of trouble?"

She sighed, rolling her eyes. "God, Cato, why are you so worried about me all of a sudden?"

"I'm worried because you were sobbing when I left, and then five minutes later you were kissing that asshole on the cheek and shoving money in his pocket." He searched her eyes for the answers she wasn't giving him, only able to realize that something was very off about her.

"You were spying on me," she said, frowning. "Cato, that's not nice."

"What the hell is going on with you, Clove?" he asked, moving a hand to the side of her neck. Her skin was hot to the touch and he could feel her pulse beating quickly against his fingers, but he couldn't determine the cause. "Where'd you go with those guys?"

"Just somewhere," she said, shrugging and holding back a laugh as she watched him grow more frustrated. "And then me and Evan came here, and then he left and here you are. The end."

He was genuinely concerned, and Clove's useless answers to his questions were not providing any reassurance. "Did any of them...like, touch you? Do things to you?"

"Don't you think they would have been paying me, then?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Jesus Christ," he muttered, letting go of her and crossing his arms. "Were you buying drugs?"

She didn't answer, smiling and looking down at the floor. "I went to the park to hang out with them, and then Evan walked me home and we made out and he grabbed my ass and slobbered on my chin and basically tried to milk me," she said with a small laugh, looking back up at him. "That's what you really wanted to know about, right? You wanted to know if I had sex with someone else?"

He clenched his jaw, images in his mind of Clove with somebody that wasn't himself. "I want to know why you're acting so weird, and why you're so warm, and why your pupils are huge."

"Maybe I'm coming down with something," she said, sitting down on the couch and staring down at her lap. "I probably have a cold."

"Cut the bullshit, please," he said, shaking his head. "I thought we were trying to be honest with eachother, what happened to that?"

"Maybe I don't feel like being honest about this, Cato. Maybe I still want secrets," she said, her tone still relaxed. "I want to be happy and I don't want to care so much about everything, I want to enjoy things that I can have and I want to be okay…" She trailed off, looking at him.

His expression softened and he sat down next to her, wrapping his arms around her. "I'm sorry," he said, taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Clove, I don't want to force you to tell me things, I'm just really worried about you," he said kissing the top of her head.

"I didn't hook up with Evan to make you mad," she mumbled, nestling within his arms. "I didn't even like it, it wasn't good at all."

"You don't have to explain it, okay? I'm not mad," he said, sighing. "I want to be able to look out for you."

"I'm just not ready to explain everything right now," she said, closing her eyes. "Maybe soon, but now right now."

Though he wanted to beg her to tell him until she broke down and gave in, he knew that it would put more strain on their relationship than they needed. "Alright," he whispered, rubbing her back. "Take your time."


End file.
